He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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