david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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