She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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