found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
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