I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
