5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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