my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She bit a glass in half.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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