She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
