I just made out with a guy for $7.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
