Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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