After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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