I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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