I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
