His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So many bounce houses so little time
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
