I think I am morally bankrupt
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
