Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
