Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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