Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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