i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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