Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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