maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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