She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
