I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize