Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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