well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
