Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
