So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
