I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
