So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
