id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
