So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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