We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
