physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
