This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am naked and annoyed.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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