You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize