my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
