My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
