I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
