im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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