does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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