I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
