would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
