so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
