My cat gives me a boner
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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