there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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