What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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