I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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