Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
