i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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