Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
