I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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