I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
