my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize