i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
