So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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