Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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