butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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