I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
