i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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