Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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