I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
