We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
