It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
