Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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