plz talk dirty to me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
