i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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