If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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