Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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