Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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