I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
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if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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