Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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